Thursday, January 22, 2009

It never gets easy....



4 years ago today my father passed away from cancer. He was a fighter and fought until the very last breath. I would not wish this kind of death on anyone. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to watch but I am grateful to have been there by his side. I remember whispering in his ear that I loved him and that I was going to be OK and that my baby who was not born yet was waiting for him. I found out that I was pregnant the week before he pasted away, that made it so much harder. The more that my family grows and the older I get the more I miss him. I wish so bad that he could have know my little girls. I know that he would have adored them. He was a softy with his girls. If mom said no, dad would always give in. I wish that we could have watched one more football game together, had one more BBQ with him, have had one more quick weekend trip to the lake or cooked something late at night together. I miss watching him dance in the garage to mariachi music (even though he had now clue what they were saying), I miss his cut off shorts, tube socks and sweat bands. Believe it or not in high school he was named the best dressed (HA HA... Yeah right). We never believed him until my aunt showed us the news article. Could have fooled us dad!!! I miss him more today that ever. He was the dad that could do and make anything. If you could dream it up he could make it and make it out of anything.... wood, metal or cardboard. Love you chief!!!

6 comments:

Kara said...

This post makes me so sad! I'm so sorry that it doesn't get any easier with time. He sounds like such a great Dad and a wonderful man and I'm sure he's smiling down on you and your little family. I am sure that he knew Kylie and Brit in heaven before they came to earth and he took care of them there for you. You will be with him again and it will be the sweetest day!
Love ya girl!

Christi said...

That totally made me cry! Isn't it so nice that you have the knowledge of the gospel. I agree with Kara. The girls and him were probably dancing to the mariachi music up in heaven before they came down!

Alifinale said...

Oh Jessett! This was such a sweet post and I am totally tearing up so I can't imagine what you were feeling when you wrote it. What a great father you had and your girls will learn so much from him because of the special place he has in your heart.

Katie said...

I'm thinking of you and your family Jessett. That was such a sweet post. Rmember that he is looking down on you and so proud of what a great mom you are and of what a wonderful woman you have become.

Calvin said...

Your life is the greatest tribute and honor to be given to any parent! Your father and mother adore and love you very much and your wonderful example.

Joe certainly knows of your love, purity, and strengths. He is tremendously proud of you and the way you have taken care of your mother, your brothers and sisters, your two girls, and our Michael.

What a touching expression of love and memories of your father. He was truly an honorable man and father.

We love you. Mom and Dad Alleman

Brandon and Erin said...

I think it is wonderful that you leave such a wonderful tribute to your dad. Always do this so you remember him. I am sure he is proud of you and watching over you and your girls! It is hard not to have a parent around...especially as time goes on and you miss them and want them to be a part of things...but I know your dad is proud of you. Wish I could have met him.